


on my eyes eternally (i find you in the night)

by citadelofswords



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, anyway, can be read as romantic if you squint, let's face it there's no way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citadelofswords/pseuds/citadelofswords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(The truth was, they could have done it— could have saved her— if they'd just had a little more <em>time</em>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	on my eyes eternally (i find you in the night)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. Okay. The story behind this is: I listened to this song that gave me some serious Eiffel/Hera feelings, and I shared it with a pal who then proceeded to crush my heart, and then I was just going to make a moodboard (I still plan on doing that) with a little drabble included, and then the drabble turned into (by drabble standards) a MONSTER of sadfic.
> 
> The song, by the way, is Telescope by Starset, and also grants this fic its title. If you want rock songs with cinematic-soundtrack quality outros inspired entirely by space (it's a pretty specific subgenre I never knew I needed until I first heard the album) then please listen to the song. I literally have had the entire album on loop for the last two weeks.
> 
> Also, half of this was written at like one am and it's totally unbeta'd so please be kind.
> 
> (i don't own the characters or the works, @ the writers please keep my favs safe in canon)

Minkowski will say later that the worst part was that Eiffel didn't even raise his voice. He didn't need to. His true feelings on the matter were written clear in the icy tone of his voice. 

"I'm not leaving you here." Minkowski said, her voice thick. "It's not an option."

"I'm not leaving her here," Eiffel shot back, "and I can't believe you're just _ready to go_ like we're not leaving someone to die out here."

"We have no time for this," Lovelace snapped, appearing from nowhere. 

"There's a limited window available for you to leave." Hera's voice was clipped. "Commander, p-please."

Minkowski tried to ignore exactly where Hera's voice glitched, and focused on knocking Eiffel out while he was distracted.

 

* * *

 

"Hera, I promise," Minkowski said. "When this is all over, I'll come back for you. I swear it."

"All respect, Commander? We b-both know you won't m-make it in t-time."

Minkowski's heart shattered. "I swear," she said. "You hear me?"

"C-commander—,"

"Hera, _all respect_ , this isn't about you, or even about Eiffel. Let me have this. Please, so help me God, let me have this."

Hera said nothing. That was almost worse. 

“I promise you,” Minkowski said. “I will come back for you.”

“Go.”

Minkowski did. But not before she reached up towards one of the cameras, in a mirror of Eiffel’s usual motion, and gently rested the pads of her fingers against the lens.

“ _Just g-go!_ ”

Minkowski forced herself to turn away before she did something stupid.

“I _will_ come back for you,” she repeated, and fled.

 

* * *

 

By the time they made it back to Earth, there was a ten percent chance Hera would crash beyond anything even the brightest minds in AI could repair and then the already crumbling station would fall out of orbit and into the star.

There was a ten percent chance the station would make it but Hera wouldn’t, and it would remain in orbit around that star as some kind of obscene tombstone. There was a ten percent chance Hera would survive and the station wouldn’t, and that was somehow worse.

Thinking of what made up the other seventy percent made Minkowski feel sick, and when she clambered into the station only to find herself face to face with an unconscious Eiffel and a tight-jawed Lovelace, she almost turned her back on the shuttle and the whole idea of going home, just so Hera wouldn’t be alone—

But she didn’t.

If anyone was going to do that, it should be Eiffel.

 

* * *

 

When Eiffel woke up, already miles from the station, he calmly reached for a spacesuit. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going back," Eiffel said easily, tonelessly. "I'll drift back and get Hera to let me in through an airlock."

"Unacceptable. Minkowski, tell him."

Eiffel turned his gaze to Minkowski. His gaze was almost cold, challenging even. Minkowski looked away from him.

"You know this is wrong," Eiffel said. "To leave her here. To leave her to die out here, alone, glitching, _suffering_ , until the station stops running or falls into the star. We are walking— flying— drifting— _whatever_ — away from her. I never— I'm not going to let her be alone like that. No one should _ever_ be alone like that."

Minkowski did not look at him. 

Eiffel did not cry. He did not yell or even blame her.

That was the worst part. 

"Captain. Let me go."

"Eiffel, do not make this hard for me."

"Comman— Minkowski, _please_." Eiffel's voice finally, finally cracked and Minkowski turned to look at him in time to see Lovelace knock him unconscious again.

They sat there for a long, silent moment, just looking at Eiffel.

"Lock those suits up," she said gruffly, breaking the silence. "I don't care what you have to do, but keep them out of his reach until we're home safe."

Minkowski nodded numbly, and reached out for Eiffel instead.

She didn't break down until she had him tethered to a bunk and had tucked herself into a back room.

 

* * *

 

Honestly? It would have been easier if he’d yelled. If he'd blamed them. If he’d tried to hold back tears. The Eiffel she’d seen staring her down, helmet in hand, ready to go back into the black (that had almost killed him nearly fifteen times) without even blinking?

That was the worst part.

 

* * *

 

(The truth was, they could have done it— could have saved her— if they'd just had a little more _time_.)

 

* * *

 

Six months after they landed on Earth, Minkowski received a call from Koudelka, who breathlessly said, "He's _here_."

Heart in her throat, Minkowski rushed home. Unlike Lovelace, who had stayed in the public eye over the last few months by dismantling Goddard Futuristics brick by murderous brick, Eiffel had walked away from Canaveral without a good luck, a be safe, or even a glance back to any of them. Minkowski had caught him, the day before they had landed back on Earth, finally grieving, but he'd turned away from her before she could offer any kind of comfort. Her words had died in her throat as he’d turned his back on them.

Now, Eiffel was sitting on her couch flicking through the Good Housekeeping magazine she'd gotten from an acquaintance as a "glad you're not dead" present. He greeted her like they hadn’t parted on the worst terms ever six months prior, like he hadn’t vanished without a trace or a phone number so she could make sure he hadn’t died. He looked a little thinner, but assured her that for the first six weeks back on Earth he'd eaten nothing but pizza and then worked most of it off. 

"I have a place on the other side of town, actually." he said. "Didn't realize you two lived here until a couple of days ago."

Minkowski knew him well enough to know that he was lying.

 

* * *

 

His apartment was nice. Full of colorful plants and warm light, it felt cozy in a way the Hephaestus never had. It had a balcony, and on the balcony was a telescope. 

"Thank you, severance package," Eiffel grinned, but his voice was tight.

Alone with him now, away from her husband, Minkowski rounded on Eiffel. "All this time and you never thought to call me? Just a voicemail. 'Hey, Minkowski, I'm not dead somewhere, hope you're okay'? You had my number. For all I knew, you were—,” She stopped herself, shaking her head. “Look. I get that you're mad at me and Lovelace. I deserve it. We— But did you ever stop to—,"

"Come here," Eiffel interrupted. Stunned, Minkowski watched him head towards his balcony and push the door open. 

"Look," he said, and Minkowski glanced at the telescope. "Don't move it. It's aimed exactly where it needs to be."

Minkowski knew what she'd see. Her throat tight, she peered through the eyepiece. 

"In five years," Eiffel muttered, "Wolf 359 will be visibly blue from Earth. That's how much longer it will take for its light to reach us. Right now? We're seeing the star before it ever met us. Before Hera was ever there. Soon the light we'll see will be the same light that Lovelace and Rhea and their crew saw. In a few years, it'll be our star. Not long after, it'll be Hera's grave. And we'll see it."

Minkowski straightened up to look at Eiffel, who was gazing up at the sky.

"But until then?" He almost smiled. "As far as we're concerned, it's just a star."

"Eiffel..."

"I get it. Why we had to— Just. Thanks for not trying to stop me from ejecting myself from the shuttle, Commander. It means a lot.”

Minkowski shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said. "That we ran out of time. That we left her behind."

"I'm sorry that I fell out of contact," Eiffel said, and Minkowski hugged him as tight as she could. "I just didn't know what to do."

"You didn't have to go through this alone," Minkowski said. "She was my friend too. Did you forget?"

Eiffel laughed a little and when she pulled away, she caught tears sparking in the corners of his eyes. "The amount you two fought at the beginning of the mission? Yeah. I guess I did forget."

"Well, don't forget again," Minkowski said firmly. "Come on. Have you named your plants?"

As they went back inside, Minkowski looked back up at where she knew Wolf 359 was. _Hera_ , she thought. _I'll come back for you. I promise_.

Empty words for an empty promise she would never speak aloud again.

**Author's Note:**

> Normally I don't actually use the end notes section for anything other than a link to my tumblr askbox, but this fic might raise some questions, so:
> 
> Hilbert was sulking around somewhere, but I didn't feel super comfy including him because I'm not good at his voice yet. He made it home. Probably without Minkowski noticing, either.  
> I envisioned this as being a "crew uses a shuttle from the Urania to get home and can only do it at a certain time" fic, but you can imagine it happened however you like.  
> All numbers are completely arbitrary.  
> And since folks in the Wolf 359 verse have apparently achieved faster than light travel (I demand an explanation for this soon) pretend Eiffel's telescope was powerful enough to spot a star with an apparent magnitude of 13.5. Normally, you need a larger telescope to spot it, but given the bending of science as we know it in-universe, I handwaved it.
> 
> I'm calling this my "Wolf 359 Bad Ending" fic because I don't want it to happen but it's pretty damn possible that it will have to happen.
> 
> [Okay, now here's my tumblr.](http://citadelofswords.tumblr.com/ask) I'm pretty much always taking prompts, or you can come yell at me, or just talk to me.
> 
>  **EDIT** : Someone ended up prompting me for more in this verse, so [have a snippet of Hera's thoughts after she was left behind.](http://citadelofswords.tumblr.com/post/150238391777/for-the-prompt-thingon-my-eyes-eternally) (warning for AI suicide ideation and HEAVILY implied character death, also minor spoilers for the Pagliacci miniepisode)


End file.
